First off, let me start off by saying Happy Holidays etc. to all and sundry. Last night I went to Midnight Mass with my aunt and cousins. I'm not a regular church goer so I felt a bit like the guy who follows a team's progress in the papers and then turns up at the playoff game next to the guys who stand there chest naked in the middle of the winter, painted in team colours. My mind also wanders a lot. When I'm supposed to be pondering the holy, something weird will just pop in there. For example, there was a creak in the roof at one point during the service. I instantly thought that it could be a Godzilla-sized Jesus, looking for a snack.
I'm going to Hell for that.
Where was I?
Oh yeah, I don't go to church a whole lot these days. Maybe Christmas and Easter to hear the reverend spit the classics. I mean, the crucifixion story is very moving, but I've heard it so many times now that it's become a bit like watching an old horror movie. I know where all the scary parts are and I'm pretty much desensitized to them....
I have also beaten a member of the clergy in an arm-wrestling contest (Where is your God, now??!!). This makes my destination in the after-life a little uncertain. I would like to think that I get the good reverend's guest list spot to Paradise. but on the other hand I might have bought myself a condo next to the furnace in the Underworld....
Anyways - today, I am mainly doing the family thing. I shall doubtless meet more of the several thousand cousins I have never met before. So far I have eaten a monster breakfast, spoken to assorted family members across international borders and spent most of the morning in the basement watching The Chappelle Show with Punch.
The afternoon was mainly spent eating and digesting an exquisite meal cooked by my aunt and cousins and watching basketball. I had the Lakers down to win, but backed the Suns in the first game only to see them lose to a last second three pointer.
Uncle Jojo came up with a religion based movie concept, most of the ideas of which involved the Son Of God on the run from the FBI. Coming to a multiplex near you soon....
"Gawd bless us, one n' all!"
Crystal Palace, 16.6.14
2 months ago